You Can Have Anything You Want ...

My father always told me that the secret to success in life was that:

"You can have anything you want ... you just can't have everything you want."

I didn't get it then, and I'm still struggling to make use of it in my life now. But the essence of it is undeniably true. The wisdom of opportunity costs without all the pesky math that advanced economics requires.

Unfortunately, my family never lived those beliefs. We are middle-to-upper middle class, but we've lived an upper class existence. I honestly can't remember a time growing up when I asked for something I wanted and didn't get it. With the exception of refusing (or more likely, simply being unable) to pay for tuition at a pricey private liberal arts school that I got in to but didn't recieve any scholarship money from, my parents pretty much gave me what I wanted. We lived a great life; we ate out practically every meal, bought expensive clothing, drove new cars, lived in a large house in a swanky neighborhood, and although the family business kept us from taking long vacations, we had a condo at the local ski/golf resort where we spent many weekends. Living well now superceded saving for the future.

Another bad money lesson that I learned growing up was that happiness can be bought. In my family, affection was a commodity to be bought and sold. That's not to say that we don't love one another unconditionally, but a pony could always help. I once came home from school, miserable and depressed - I hated my school, I hated my classes, I hated my major, I hated my roommates, I even hated myself for hating everything else - I'm sure I was sullen. No one asked me how I was feeling or what was going on, but my dad took me to the dealership and we traded in my older (and older for us was two years) truck for a new sedan. A down and dirty fight with my mom always resulted in a reconciliation brokered by a trip to the mall and the use of the all-powerful credit card to buy me something special. And a rough week at school was an excuse to treat ourselves to manis and massages at the salon.

So, now I've finally graduated from school after taking the long road through, and I'm trying to figure out how to live on what I make. I want to be able to save money so that I don't have to work for the rest of my life. I'd like to have savings so that I have the freedom to make the choices necessary for personal fulfillment. I'd like to spend money to donate to causes that I believe in. And, I'd like to put aside a little bit of money to help the people I care about down the line.

I just don't quite know how to do those things. But, I feel intuitively that my dad had the right philosophy he just failed to put it into action in his life. I'm going to try to live my life according to the "Have Anything You Want Philosophy."